An ocean upholstered in people...

There are so many adjectives running through my head looking at this, I can barely pick which aesthetic instinct to follow. And I thought the wave pool at West Ed got full during the winter.

(Hat tip to the awesome Tokyo Mango.)

Here's your chance, god!

I was 9 years old at the time...

Okay, god - I know I don't believe in you and all, but if:

a) this is true and
b) I can see it with my own two ocular organs

...then we can begin negociations for my soul. (Note to other Higher Beings: MBV or best offer wins!)

I Am a Donut!

Even avoiding the obvious, a rather intimidating people...

Well, after four long months of straight flux, here I am in Berlin. To celebrate the occassion, and get everyone in a Deutsche uber alles kinda mood (in a good way, people - jeez...) I thought we should indulge in some o' the finer musical contributions made in recent deacdes by this stalwart nation. (Remember, it's only 18 years old in its current manifestation!) I've chosen to focus on - surprise - the rock idiom, otherwise I'd just upload the complete works of Strauss, Stockhausen, etc. And sorry, kids, but I can't fuckin' stand techno, so no anthems from the Love Parade, no remixes by Alec Empire, not even any of Holger Czukay's recent work.

"ﾁｮﾄ ﾏﾃ," you cry. "Some of these cats ain't even German! What gives?!" Well, let's establish everyone's Deutsche bona fides, shall we...

~Kraftwerk: 'nuff said.
~Einsturzende Neubauten: could you ask for a more perfect embodiment of the stereotype of Germans as angry, obtuse destructobots with souls the shade of slate?
~CAN: best German band ever, despite the fact they came from Cologne. I almost wanted to upload Tago Mago and call it a day.
~Tom Waits: this song was taken from his music for the theatrical production Alice, originally produced (in collaboration with director Robert Wilson) in Hamburg, back in '92.
~The Fall: Aside from being an early acolyte of experimental German rock (at least before Johnny Rotten started name-dropping Can), Mark E. Smith spiced his shambolic rants with more German (Wermacht! Gestalt! Gotterdamerung!) than any other post-punk polemicist.
~Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds: Cave and his former band, the Birthday Party, were so integral to the underground music scene of '80s Berlin that director Wim Wenders made the Bad Seeds his municipal musical representatives in the climactic scene of Der Himmel Uber Belin (a.k.a. Wings of Desire).
~Wall of VooDoo: Stan Ridgway's use of drum machines and sprechesang was hugely influenced by Kraftwerk. Other than that, I'll admit these cats have more to do with Mexico than Germany.
~Primal Scream: Krautrock has remained a perennial influence on this motley gaggle of Brits, especially Can. A sample from their "Hallelujah" provides the rhythmic backbone to his standout from 1997's Vanishing Point.
~David Bowie & Brian Eno: Probably the most famous expat artist to have resided in Berlin, the "landlocked island," Bowie was so inspired by the city's simmering friction & disquieting history that he produced three of his most significant albums there. This song, recorded during the same sessions as the genius Low album, is just about my favourite thing that either he or Eno have produced.
~Kurt Weill & Bertol Brecht: I mean, come on. This is classic.
~Iggy Pop: Though overshadowed by Bowie's Berlin trilogy, I think The Idiot is a watermark achievement for both musicians. (Bowie co-wrote & produced the record when the two of them decided to hit Berlin - then the heroin capital of Europe - to get clean.) Bowie knicked all of Eno's best tricks for some truly icy, uneasy production, whilst Iggy mined some of the deepest pits of spiritual depletion ever committed to tape. In brief: some epic shit, yo.

Just click on the title to get the mix:

Ze Germans Are Coming!

1. Kraftwerk - "Ruckzack" (00:00)
2. Einsturzende Neubauten - "Zum Tier Machen" (07:45)
3. CAN - "Another Night" (10:50)
4. Tom Waits - "Kommienezuspadt" (16:20)
5. The Fall - "Faust Banana" (19:26)
6. Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds - "Saint Huck" (24:28)
7. Wall of VooDoo - "Factory" (31:46)
8. Primal Scream - "Kowalski" (37:19)
9. David Bowie & Brian Eno - "All Saints" (43:05)
10. Kurt Weill & Bertol Brecht - "Moritat und Schlußchoral" (46:35)
11. Iggy Pop - "Mass Production" (49:55)

Artists Only

While I'm around, I should take a minute to plug the phenomenal photographic instincts of Ed, neighbour of my parents and friend to humanity. He's got this incredible photoblog, which features (among other things) one of the only portraits of me I actually like.

A Self-PR P.S., FYI...

New songs are up. Listen, enjoy, download, distribute as you please.

Meanwhile...

This is how we rock!

Whilst I prepare myself for the next phase of my voyage, let me offer you a glimpse into that nebulous realm of Hobby Time. Since the beginning of the year, I've been participating in a monthly SongFight with a few acquaintances & friends from around Le Globe. Straightforward: every month, a theme is picked, and everyone writes & records accordingly. It's not a competition, per se, since there's no ostensible winner; rather, we just get to enjoy the fruits of our friends' percolating grey matter.

If I may reveal my personal bias - Alex' work always floors me, her voice being one of the most beautiful instruments I've laid ears on, and Charles V is a master of JAMC-esque narcopop.

J-Rockism

The finale of possibly the greatest live show I've ever attended...

Okay, having survived the PRoC, I felt it valuable to pause and reflect on some of the marvelous music produced by Nippon, my adopted domicile of the past few years. Lord only knows I've spent hundreds of hours talking (and only slightly less time writing) about Japanese music, but I still got so big jet rag right now, so I'll spare the speech for later. In the meantime, here are some of the most enjoyable and/or inventive acts I listened to during my tenure in Tokyo. A few notes on the mix (click on the title to download) follow the tracklist. Osusume!

J-Rockism

1. Ging Nang Boyz - "Nipponjin" (00:00)
2. Number Girl - "Transparent Girl" (01:31)
3. bloodthirsty butchers - "Sanzan" (04:47)
4. Toddle - "Hesitate To See" (09:16)
5. Oshiri Penpens - "Ah! Hell" (12:57)
6. Afrirampo - "Afrirampo" (15:53)
7. 小杉太一郎 - "Big Boss? Keri-O-Tsukero" (19:00)
8. Friction - "Cool Fool" (21:20)
9. Mainliner - "Imaginative Plain" (25:24)
10. ACIDEater - "Shadows" (29:41)
11. Ground Zero - "Movie - 1" (31:46)
12. Kaji Meiko - "Bet On Tomorrow" (37:23)
13. Aburadako - "Greenback" (39:01)
14. Who The Bitch - "Tomorrow's Not Later" (43:45)
15. Mo'some Tonebender - "Come" (45:37)
16. INU - "305" (49:06)
17. Acid Mother's Temple - "What Do I Want To Know (Like Heavenly Kisses Pt2)" (52:21)

::The common link between (in chronological order) Number Girl, bloodthirsty butchers, and Toddle is guitarist Hisako Tabuchi, a diminuative elvin lass who can rip the shit out of a Jaguar.

::Oshiri Penpens somehow managed to land a label and recently released their first studio LP. Get on this bandwagon to Interzone now. And check out this clip of their Tower Records in-store; it's more fun than the last show you saw, guaranteed.

::Rek, bassist and bandleader of long-lived postpunkers Friction, earned his cred in the New York No-Wave scene, playing with the likes of Teenage Jesus & the Jerks.

::Mainliner, led by High Rise mayor domo Nanjo Asahito, features the six-string pyrotechnics of Acid Mother superior Kawabata Makoto. The only record I've heard that's mastered louder is the Psychic Paramount's Gamelan Into the Pink Supernatural.

::ACIDEater is the garage side-project of J-noizenik Masonna. They are far, far superior live.

::A song by Meiko Kaji, my personal favourite Enka songstress, scored the death scene of Lucy Liu/Oren Ishii in the first Kill Bill movie.

::INU's frontman, Machida, went on to a scattershot solo career that ran the gambit from brilliantly art-damaged electropunk, to ersatz sub-Blues Brothers pub rock. Through it all, he never really learned how to sing.

::Acid Mother's Temple save all their best material for Western audiences; they know on which side their bread is buttered. Every time I saw them in Japan, no matter which configuration, they completely half-assed it. As a result, I can't take them as seriously as people who think that the Japanese are inherently weirder than Occidentals.

...And should you have any queries regarding the above artists, lemme know. I'll see what I can do to help you out.

Into the Wild Blue Yonder!

"I told you getting into China would be easy!"

Well, it's gonna be a while before (a) I'm around a computer, and (b) I have a semi-permanent domicile, so I thought I'd leave a little parting gift in the meantime. Since none of you will be along for the the sights, sounds, exotic food, monsoons, cheap liquor, lack of showers, luggage-born backpain, or swampfoot, here's a little MP3 mix which approximates our intended route over the next two months. Wish us luck, and take care of yrselves in the meantime...

How I'll Spend My Summer Vacation

1. The Fall - "Leave the Capital" (00:00)
2. Siouxsie & the Banshees - "Hong Kong Garden" (04:10)
3. Brian Eno - "China My China" (07:00)
4. Oxes - "Chyna, Chyna, Chyna" (11:42)
5. Rapeman - "Hated Chinee" (16:19)
6. XTC - "Millions" (18:19)
7. Amon Tobin - "Marine Machines" (23:36)
8. The Birthday Party - "Swampland" (29:14)
9. Martin Denny - "Jungle Madness" (32:42)
10. Slim & Slam - "Chinatown, My Chinatown" (36:10)
11. Broken Social Scene - "Pacific Theme" (38:44)
12. Brian Jonestown Massacre - "Evergreen" (44:27)
13. Sloan - "Money City Maniacs" (47:43)
14. The Dandy Warhols - "Minnesoter" (51:34)
15. The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion - "Greyhound" (54:35)
16. The Constantines - "National Hum" (58:38)
17. Soul Coughing - "I Miss the Girl" (01:01:27)
18. Sonic Youth - "Expressway To Yr. Skull (Madonna, Sean, & Me)" (01:05:29)

A propos of nothing...

This is still the funniest thing I've ever seen on TV. God bless KITH.

No. 1 With a Bullet

Last night, whilst discussing the VA Tech shooting on the phone with a friend, I ad-libbed a joke. I must confess a certain malaise about the media attention and histrionics over the incident, because this is far from news in other parts of the world, though I know that it's well too early to be making jokes about some sick bastard massacreing 32 innocent people. But I also know that eventually others will be making the following joke, and so I want to go on record here as the first:

So this is officially The largest mass-shooting in modern American history. More than the ex-Marine in the clocktower back in '66; more than the guy who drove his pickup into the Killeen cafeteria back in '91. And it was by one guy with two handguns. A search of his dormroom found no additional weapons, artillery, ammo, bombs, or other such devices - nothing. One guy, two handguns. Eric Harris & Dylan Klebold, the two shitsticks responsible for the Columbine massacre, had between them two shotguns, a rifle, a semi-automatic, duffel bags full of explosives, and months of painstaking fantasizing and preparation. And they didn't kill half as many people as Cho Seung-Hui.

Just another example of Asians outdoing the white kids in American educational institutions.