Monday, January 22, 2007

Taking Credit For Other People's Work

Well, it was only a few scant posts ago, but we're somehow already back at The Onion AV Club's hilarious-to-the-point-of-herniating Worst Band Names of '06! Quick, dash over there and start singling out your favourites; my personal picks are Guns 'N' Rosa Parks, US Pipe & the Balls Johnson Dance Machine, The Goddamn Doo Wop Band, and Jehovah's Shitlist... none of whom, of course, are anywhere near as compelling as their names.

Speaking of which, I am, for the record, going to see Green Milk From Planet Orange on Friday.

And finally, in the interest of giving you something more than just other people's writing, here's other people's music! This is my current dose of aurally-administered enlightenment.

Glenn Branca - The Ascension

I'd been listening to a lot of heavy drone music lately (g_d bless the unedited version of "Diamond Sea"), particularly stuff inspired by micropolyphonic "cluster" composers. But this piece really swept me away, I think, for the same reason that people continue to express awe at the physiological power of live classical music: raw sound. No delay pedals or phase manipulation, no stompable loop boxes - just the kinetic energy of air being pummelled by wood, metal, and flesh.

And don't think that by skipping willy-nilly through the piece, you'll "get the picture." Music is a purely temporal art. Not allowing it the allotted time is like trying to take in a painting without looking at it.

Afterthought - Don't forget to check out some of the other hilarity over at the AV Club, specifically the post about John Mayer's (yes, THAT John Mayer) stand-up moonlighting. Jesus on a polar bear, y'all.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Best Poem Ever

Who knows, had these guys arrived a decade earlier, I probably would have really really dug 'em. As it stands, Bear Vs. Who Cares (evidently, 'cuz they broke up already), but I just had to share this little tidbit culled from another sublime Onion list.

I Just Watched XXX And It Was Awesome
by Bear Vs. Shark's Derek Kiesgen

he jumped barns
he jumped avalanches
he jumped jumps
I kept throwing up and crying because it was so awesome.