Wednesday, April 18, 2007

No. 1 With a Bullet

Last night, whilst discussing the VA Tech shooting on the phone with a friend, I ad-libbed a joke. I must confess a certain malaise about the media attention and histrionics over the incident, because this is far from news in other parts of the world, though I know that it's well too early to be making jokes about some sick bastard massacreing 32 innocent people. But I also know that eventually others will be making the following joke, and so I want to go on record here as the first:

So this is officially The largest mass-shooting in modern American history. More than the ex-Marine in the clocktower back in '66; more than the guy who drove his pickup into the Killeen cafeteria back in '91. And it was by one guy with two handguns. A search of his dormroom found no additional weapons, artillery, ammo, bombs, or other such devices - nothing. One guy, two handguns. Eric Harris & Dylan Klebold, the two shitsticks responsible for the Columbine massacre, had between them two shotguns, a rifle, a semi-automatic, duffel bags full of explosives, and months of painstaking fantasizing and preparation. And they didn't kill half as many people as Cho Seung-Hui.

Just another example of Asians outdoing the white kids in American educational institutions.


skadrian said...

another lost chance to take a long, hard stare at bullying, gun control, and social outcasts. instead, let us blame Ted "Theodore" Logan and his various unwatchable movies.

Seb said...

Isn't marvelous how the end result of this whole fracas is that those in most need of help to prevent similar disasters in the future will simply end up marginalized & persecuted? Ah, America's Darwinian death drive...