Monday, May 02, 2011

Breaking News!

After a mere decade of costly, murderous effort, the largest imperial military apparatus in history succeeds in killing diabetic cave-dweller!

Wow, I can already vividly feel how the world's changed for the better.

Yep. Everything's fine now!

Update: I had no idea that a bloodied corpse getting booted out of a blackhawk helicopter over international waters counts as a burial in accordance with Islamic law. You learn something new every day!

9 comments:

JM said...

My sentiments exactly. Nevermind we fucked with three countries trying to find the bastard. Terrorism isn't finally dead, it's just being passed down to more understandably angry civilians.

W. Kasper said...

This is the age of sequels. 'The Hunt for the Revenge of the Son of Bin Laden' will be at appearing at the multiplex/reality by summer.

Seb said...

Yeah, for real. It's dismaying that anyone thinks Osama Bin Laden's death somehow counts as relevant or "good" news. I can't wait to what kind of Chinese algebra is employed to balance this cost-benefit equation.

Seb said...

Oh, and who want to place bets on the kind of crazy shit Qaddafi is gonna pull now that he's been so grandly upstaged?

Kasper, perhaps we can look forward to the comedic caper buddy flick that pairs the (surviving) sons of OBL & Muamar! Bin Laden Jr. will no doubt be the world-weary straight man to Qaddafi Jr.'s wisecracking "loose cannon." Co-starring Isiah Whitlock, Jr. as their perpetually-apopleptic lieutenant!

W. Kasper said...

In time for Iron Man 3 - he must have some financial stake in Libya. Qaddafi's got a better voice, jaw and dress sense than Mickey Rourke.

Jeffrey said...

I think the most interesting question that perhaps will never be answered is, why did that "compound" cost more than $1mil to build? Doesn't the dollar go a bit further in Pakistan than that?

On a more serious note, though I'm sure bin Laden never would have come "peaceably," the Israelis snatched Eichmann half way around the world and brought him back to Israel for a trial. Lot more finesse in that operation.

What I'm sure it rather maddening to the U.S. intelligence "community" and such is that the Pakistanis surely knew he was there the whole time. I'm really glad to see my tax dollars at work in that closely "allied" nation.

Until we get out of the Muslim world and the ME in particular, Americans and America will always have a target on our backs.

Anonymous said...

What I'm wondering is what did we trade Pakistan in exchange for OBL's whereabouts?

W. Kasper said...

Nuclear and counter-insurgency assistance, I expect. Military dictatorships (who own nearly all the land and businesses) tend to be a bit nervous about the proles. Rumours of impending all-out civil war have been haunting Pakistan for years.

Seb said...

I'm looking forward to the PR tightrope-walk that Pakistan will have to perform (1) appearing supporting of America's objectives, (2) convincing its citizens that it's not America's puppet, (3) explaining to everyone what the fuck the world's most wanted man was doing chillin' in a suburban McMansion.