Saturday, February 18, 2006

Baltimost!


Marco Mirror, road warrior and silver Ox

Where have I been? For crying out loud, I've got more important things to attend to than the internet. Yeesh.

Anyhoo, it's approaching the One-Year Anniversary of my amicable split from Baltimore, but I've already made one return journey to my domicile of almost a decade. Reverse culture shock rocked me, the food was like swallowing a butter stick soaked in sugar, and TV made me apopleptic, but as always, Baltimore amazed me with its music scene. 2005 was a particularly fertile year, as Charm City produced two of the finest full-lengths and the best EP I heard last year. Observe...

"Foxes" - The Celebration
(from their eponymous debut)

When Birdland rose phoenix-like from the embers of Love Life, the husband-and-wife duo wowed Baltimore crowds with their sweaty postpunk approach to Tin Pan Alley caberet. But there's only so much propulsion a band can accomplish without a full-time percussionist. Re-enter two Davids: former Love Lifer Bergander sat back down behind the kit, and Mr. Andrew-Sitek (of avant-popsters TV On the Radio) manned the boards to produce the debut of the newly-christened Celebration. Like all their previous incarnations, the band cannot escape comparison to that Dark Prince of Troubadours, Nick Cave, but Ford's melodramatic bellow remains a singularly hypnotic instrument. However, I wish you the best of luck in ignoring the wholly incohesive guest appearances by the individual members of TVOTR, as if those rocking Bono-specs and a Mars Volta-approved afro could be anything other than tactless attention hounds.

"Duty. Duty? Duty." - More Dogs
(from Never Let Them Catch You Crying)

More Dogs is almost too good to be true: three lanky dudes in sweaters, who looked cherry-picked from other ethnically-diverse indie acts, playing tense indie interpretations of Morriconean experimenal film noir scores on an oddball assortment of instruments. In other words, they're a walking manifestation of Hip - which, de facto, also means that they're a little less interesting than their components imply. But unlike almost every other contemporary indie act, More Dogs manage to exhibit restraint. There's no melodic melodrama, histrionics that border on sociopathy, or genre dress-up. More Dogs refuse to show their hand; their tells have to be spotted in sly peeks over the menacing hum of an organ. They throw their chips on the table with sudden drama, like the Varese-esque clatter the opens this song, while the the drummer's stomp puts the bark in this beast. Come closer, but watch your hands. This music does not seek your affection.

"Afri-Cola" - OXES
(from the Oxes EP)

In that mythical battle of infernal animals, I'd put my money on this six-limbed, tricranial taurine monster than a mangey mutt any day. Of course, the truth is that we may have to wait until the next world to see OXES again, now that Nattarino is shacked up somewhere in Italy whilst his bandmates remain in Baltimore. Good of the lads not to leave us with a whimper: the five searing tracks on the Oxes EP reaffirm the trio's legacy as the most unabashedly fun of the angular American instrumental rock bands. Most impressive is the final track, "Afri-Cola." While all the other tracks were recorded live to two-track in the band's practice space, this epic piece of death disco was pieced together in Reason. "We didn't really have a song," guitarist Marco Mirror told me, "we just had the riffs." The result is a Dance-Punk masterpiece in which the equation is truly balanced, instead of merely scruffy guitar-dudes with eyeliner playing house beats. Not that any self-respecting indie-kid would actually dance to this song: the signals are too blurred as they race by, with little obvious instruction betrayed in the chaos. Not the first (or, hopefully, last) time OXES have outsmarted the audience.

In Other News:: Camera 1, Camera 2. Is everything in New York City so bloody special that it needs to be documented so rigorously? Also: this is hysterical and heartening, while this is proof there is no god.

Saturday, February 04, 2006

At the Risk of Being Unpopular, I Blame You


"Shut Up!" - The Monks (from Black Monk Time, 1966)

This is an odd day in the history of media saturation, because of all the stories to get beaten into glue (oil consumption, nuclear threats, "what about the children?", etc.) I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but...

I'm bored of Deerhoof.

Honestly, it's not just because The Runners Four is inferior to Apple O'. I place the blame squarely on all of you fanboys for managing to overexpose one of the most idiosyncratic pop acts in the underground. I'm not even that excited that they're crossing the Pacific this month anymore. I already feel like I've had Satomi's helium-high voice ground into my grey matter enough for another year.

So I beg you (especially you, Nick): Okay. We get it. It's not that hard. Are you done now?

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Keep It In Your Pants, Kids


If this doesn't invite hysterical evangelising and unobjective geek-out, I don't know what does.

Friday, January 27, 2006

In The News...


Journalist tracks down 40+ former & current members of The Fall (tip o' the blog to Sasha)

Canadian music journalists rant out of control, offering a few shockingly accurate observations along the way

Snake befriends hamster that was intended as lunch

BBC's Jesus sings "Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now" with Happy Monday Bez as disciple

Michael Jackson spotted in women's clothing at mall in Bahrain

And last, but certainly not least...

Saddam To Sue Bush for War Crimes

Before you begin relishing the delicious irony of the above story, ask yourself why this item is from the goddamn MTV News website and not the Guardian, the Globe and Mail, or the New York Times.

Coming Soon: the Best of Baltimore!

UPDATE:: Well, how the hell did I miss THIS? I never liked Jay-Z's voice (a little nasal and needy for my taste), but I always thought he had some handy rhymes - so much for that. This goes beyond quoting in homage; once you start lifting that many lines, you've crossed over into thievery. Maybe this is what happens when you don't write down any of your lyrics and just spit off the top of your head.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Retrovertigo: Stuff I Dug From '05


As I mentioned in my last post, I recently started conrtibuting to Tiny Mix Tapes, a mutli-faceted music site refreshingly devoid of agenda. Of course, no working relationship is without its kinks: when TMT asked its staff for their Top 25 albums of the year, I realized I'd barely heard twenty-five albums released in 2005. After scraping the bottom of my cerebellum to complete my list (which admittedly gets rather spotty past #14), my Top 25 were cross-collated with the other TMT contributors to produce the Collective List. A brief comparison between the two lists reveals two rather telling details.

The first is that nearly everything I listed was a new release by an old favourite - the Fall, Oxes, Mu, Lake Trout, Number Girl - without a debut artist in the top 10. Secondly, there was absolutely no crossover between my list and the collective Top 25. Shit, Pitchfork went as far as a Top 50 and only held two albums in common with me.

It's official: I'm out of the loop. And though I've bitched about this before, seeing the Writing On the Web certifies this fact - and what a relief. Circumstance has stripped me of my membership to the Media-Savy Hipoisie, and I am free at last, free at last!

No more scouring file-sharing networks for advance copies of new releases! No more soul-searching about why I hate Animal Collective! No longer am I troubled by the Pop Apologist Pod People! Who cares if I can't stand Crunk? Does it matter that I still haven't heard that Wolf Parade album? Hell, I haven't even heard one single goddamned minute of "Trapped In the Closet."

And why should I? I'm a skeptic expat living in Japan; there's no reason I should feel a kinship with art students from NYU or McGill. Not that anyone was twisting my arm, demanding that I jump on board any band's wagon, of course, but I still feel divested of a certain responsibility. Now I'm free to sit in my six-tatami spiderhole, surrounded by European film scores and sloppy J-Rock, unperturbed by the chest-beating of cred hounds across the ocean.

But I digress: here are ten tunes from releases that I loved in 2005.

"Do Do Do Do" by Afrirampo
(from URURSA IN JAPAN)

"Le 65isme" by Buck 65
(from Secret House Against the World)

"April 6" by Fantomas
(from Suspended Animation)

"Ano Musume Ni 1mm Demo Chokkai Ka" by Ging Nang Boyz
(from an album whose title I won't even begin to attempt)

"Oh No" by Gogol Bordello
(from Gypsy Punks: Underdog World Strike)

"Now We Know" by Lake Trout
(from Not Them, You)

"Tigerbastard" by Mu
(from Out Of Breach: Manchester's Revenge)

"SoStRx" by Need New Body
(from Where's Black Ben?)

"Bem Querer" by Seu Jorge
(from Cru)

"What About Us" by the Fall
(originally released on Fall Heads Roll; this version is from the Peel Sessions box)

"Mur Mur" by Toddle
(from I Dedicate D Chord)

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Mry. XMas, Y'all

Not Santa Claus by a long shot

Okay, so first off, I owe you all (All? Who reads this anyway?) an apology for my lengthy absence. I moved apartments in mid-November and was immediately beset upon by the dual-headed beast of Bureaucracy and Language Barrier. Thus, I haven't actually had regular internet access for the past six weeks. How did I survive, you ask? Just barely, I'm sure.

At any rate, 'Tis the Season, and so as I regain my sea legs surfing the web, may I offer you this little ditty, a cautionary tale wrapped up in holiday cheer, from my (and others') perennial favourites, The Fall.

No XMas For John Quays - The Fall (Peel Session, broadcast June 12, 1978)

I'll be back later this week with a few selections from my favourite releases of the past year - which, not coincidentally, the Fall's Complete Peel Sessions boxset topped. Granted, such an incredible document of a band's incessant evolution would have been my pick o' the litter any year, but this year it was barely a contest. I'll wait until my End Of Year post before I leap on my soapbox about everything that went wrong this year in music, but for a snapshot of how far from Hip I am these days, compare my personal picks for the year with the Tiny Mix Tapes collective list of Top 25 Albums.

Notice that the two lists share ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in common.

But as I reel from reverse culture shock at my in-laws' in Baltimore this holiday season, let's not forget that it takes different strokes and in the end, it's all just music. I raise a glass of eggnog to ye where ever ye be. Happy Holidays.

(By the way, though my taste is, uh, underrepresented on the TMT collective list, I managed to rant my way thrice onto the Eureka List for underappreciated underground albums that were released this year. Take a gander. Enjoy.)

Monday, November 14, 2005

I Can't Believe This Is How I Spend My Time

College Radio DJ

You scored a 133 Music IQ
You know your shit. You could easily have that widweek, 2am college radio timeslot. I would still sucker-punch you if you caved-in and took any Rilo Kiley requests, though.



How you compared to other people your age and gender:
free online datingfree online dating
You scored higher than 84%

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Losing My Edge, Pt. 2: Microcosm


Tabuchi Hisako (R): "Oh, stop whining and grow some balls, Mukai."

As disillusioning as a larger cultural disconnect may be, nothing hurts like a favourite artist falling off. This has happened to anyone who has ever loved music: that rueful day when repeated spins of So-And-So's new album failed to reveal the genius behind past achievements.

So it is with Shutoku Mukai. The indie-rock experimentalist first rose to notoriety with the late, great Number Girl. I've raved about Fukuoka's finest at length, and with good reason: they packed the hardest punch this side of Drive Like Jehu while boasting smarter songwriting than any of their post-hardcore peers. Allow me to present Exhibit A, from their stunning major-label debut School Girl Distortional Addict:

Pixie Du - Number Girl

The title says it all: quirkily catchy college rock delivered with meteoric force. But all relationships end one of two ways - death or bust. After four albums and seven years, Number Girl splintered in several directions. Bassist Kentaro Nakao pursued a quixotic solo career, guitarist Tabuchi Hisako joined punk powerhouse bloodthirsty butchers, and drummer Ahito Inazawa (briefly) enlisted in Mukai's new endeavor, Zazen Boys. While Number Girl had cracked the confines of rote indie-rock, Zazen Boys offered Mukai a chance to indulge all of his musical whimsy. "In Number Girl, we always had certain boundaries as a rock band," he explained to the Japan Times. "There was just no way that we could mess with something like Prince. With Zazen Boys, I feel that I can experiment."

Quiet Sleep Stick - Zazen Boys

And experiment he does. "Quiet Sleep Stick" gives a glimpse of Zazen Boys' grab-bag eclecticism: stutter-start rhythms, caffeinated wannabe-Beat vocals, and expanded instrumentation push the band towards the proggy realm of rock intellectuals like King Crimson. Note that I said "push towards," not "push into." Mukai & Co. can capture neither the narrative melodrama and behemoth majesty of In the Wake of Poseidon, nor the dark dizziness of Crimson's technical pinnacle, Discipline. Instead, it sounds like Steely Dan mastered in "Volcanic" mode minus the AM Gold melodies. Mukai dresses the music to impress, but emasculates it in the process.

You Make Me Feel So Bad - Zazen Boys

Solitary songwriter though he may be, "You Make Me Feel So Bad" demonstrates how Number Girl's strength lay as much in performance as composition. The song opens on a serrated riff that recalls the punk noir of Public Image Ltd. or Number Girl's own Sappukei... and proceeds to go nowhere for three minutes. Had this been a real Number Girl track, Hisako's fiery fretwork and Ahito's machinegun drumming would have blown the song stratospheric about thirty seconds in. Instead, we're treated to a faux-soul falsetto that even Beck abandoned and one of the most pusillanimous guitar solos since your high school band. As predictable as the soft/LOUD dynamic may be, it's preferable to a song as flatlined as this. So much for the man who once ruled via volume alone.

Wanderlust - Toddle

So now we turn to Toddle, Tabuchi Hisako's post-Number Girl project. After three years of taking a backseat to bloodthirsty butchers, the quartet dropped their debut, I Dedicate D Chord, a couple of months ago. That it bests the whole bloodthirsty butchers catalogue is no suprise; Hisako has always been a more imaginative player than Yoshimura Hideki. But Toddle makes me think Number Girl was more matriarchal than only in name: Mukai may be male, but it sounds like Hisako's the one with the balls. There's more insouciant energy and slash-and-burn intensity packed into I Dedicate D Chord's thirty-nine minutes than in both Zazen Boys albums. Granted, Toddle's songs are several shades sunnier than her old bandmate's, but it's hard for Hisako to hide how much fun she's having. Toddle are superbly prepared to play the Breeders to Number Girl's (very self conscious) Pixies.

Hey, maybe with a little luck, in ten years, Mukai will pull his head out of his ass and we'll get a reunion, too.

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Mending the Breach


Blame - Soul Coughing

I owe this to Courtney. Over four months ago, she tagged me for a meme, entitled "5 Things". In my state of eternal awareness, I completely missed the memo and never fulfilled my duty. Today, I make reparations.

Ten Years Ago: I was in eighth grade. Nine Inch Nails were my favourite band and I had hair halfway down my back. I was, by all accounts, happy.

Five Years Ago: I was back in Baltimore after a summer spent helping my family move to Halifax. Mr. Bungle was my favourite band, my roommate was brilliant and funny, and I was working as a tour manager. I was, by most accounts, happy.

One Year Ago: Still in Baltimore, turnover had made me the senior staff member at a record store after only nine months. My Bloody Valentine were my obsession du jour, I hadn't had a haircut in six months, and my wife was looking for a job in Japan. I was, in the most illusory of senses, happy.

Five Yummy Things:
Dark chocolate
Spicy tuna maki
Sponge cake
Shabu shabu
My homemade chili

Five Songs I Know By Heart:
"Cigarette Girl From the Future" by Beauty Pill
"The Passenger" by Iggy Pop
"Cut Your Hair" by Pavement
"Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond
"St. Louise Is Listening" by Soul Coughing

Five Things I Would Do With a Lot of Money:
Donate a huge wack of it to the Red Cross
Buy a house just so I could have a soundproof room for my work
Buy this guitar
Spend a year girdling the globe with Th' Wife
Stop worrying

Five Places I Would Love to Escape To:
Canada (cross-country road trip... again)
Hokkaido
Northern France
Somewhere in England
Cold Lake, Alberta, circa 1988

Five Things I Would Never Wear:
A hemp necklace
A white belt
Custom-made hipster gear
Angular glasses frames
Anything that cost me more than a CD

Five Favourite TV Shows:
24
The Simpsons
Matthew's Best Hit TV
Whatever Japanese game show is on
...uh, that's it. I don't watch a lot of TV.

Five Things I Enjoy Doing:
Finishing writing a song
Finding a band that genuinely qualifies as different
Reading social & political commentary
Resigning myself to panic as a means of motivation
Having breakfast on weekends with my wife

Five Favourite Toys:
My computer
My guitar
My little orange monster
My obstinately obsolete portable CD player
My larynx

Et ca suffcit pour maintenant. Since I try my best to steer clear of the self-indulgence inherent in this format, I will refrain from tagging anyone else. But this is the least I can do for Courtney.

Also, check out the collective forum of musical ponderance known as Musical Chairs. They've always got something fun on the table.

Postscript:: I'd also like to dedicate the song posted above ("Blame" by Soul Coughing) to the Bush Administration and their Neocon kindred. You reap what you sow, you degenerates.